Jessica Erin =)

Its a new year and im going to move forward with my life im not going to dwell on they past and what has hurt me! I will never forget just move on what has happened has made me a better person and has opened my pretty blues so from here on out nothing but smiles :)

Okay so I know in a previous post I said I was over someone but im not and I so wish I was I should be but im not…every couple months when you break up with a girl I hope and wish you would just call me and tell me you love me and you have realized that all these other girls didn’t mean anything and that there not like me ugh why do I think these things so with that being said this is breakup number six(that I know of) for you in the last 17 months it kinda makes me sick to my stomach because not only were you with these girls but you claimed to be in love with them im not sure if you know what love is do you just get bored do they get tired of you I dk even after you have been with all these girls sexually as well and prob have some kind of disease I still want to be with you which is not right I shouldn’t be putting myself threw this but I want to be happy again….and it hurts knowing that I will prob wait for you forever ugh why does love have to be so much pain why im sure none of this is making any sense but I dc I want you back in my life my life isn’t the same!!

Im so tired of being somewhere im not wanted, Im tired of being miserable, im tired of being treated like shit, im tired of feeling like im this horrible person, im tired of being threatened, im tired of being mentally abused, im tired of crying ,im tired of it all I don’t know how much more I can take sometimes I feel like it would be better if I was gone like she wouldn’t even care if I was here by gone I mean dead I might be crazy but she has made me this way by she I mean my mother!!

Life can be very hard but i just try my best to get through it i feel like i should be more ahead of my self i guess you would say but i feel like certain ppl in my life held be back from doing so… im finally over being single and over kyle have been for awhile now about time huh well i still love him i guess but im not in love with him or is it the other way around i dk really know at all maybe im not over him i just know at this point in my life he makes me sick and could careless about him…. i have decided that its time to to do starting next wk im going to start working out a couple times a wk with my dad i think get my skinny on lol i need to do this for myself and maybe along the line for someone else i dk im kinda just rambling on anyways… im kinda scared right now not really scared but worried i guess that my best friend wont be able to trust me any more i feel bad and maybe i shouldn’t have said anything hope she can still trust me!! over the wkend i seen an ex that i haven’t been with in 6 years kinda awkward considering that today he text me something that i was not expecting him to kinda creepy im guessing maybe he still has some kind of feeling possibly but there is def none there from this end i mean maybe we could be friends maybe i dk well G2g have to watch my show

peace and chicken grease

JLeclere